Saturday, March 28, 2015

Parents-Children Relationship


Assalamualaikum wr. wb.

I had never fancy the thought of having children. I would love to get married, live with, and probably take care of a spouse, but having to take care of children had never occurred to be something delightful for me. But several days ago, a friend of mine hit me with this question: "Where would you see yourself in the next five years?", and I never thought that she would tell me that by that time, I probably will have my own baby. 

Well, that question is actually not something that you won't stumble upon on several occasions, since that is one of the most common questions in interviews, especially job interviews. I had practiced myself on how to answer that question but I had always been thinking about how to answer them in a job-related manner, about whether I would pursue my study or try to climb the career ladder. But that time, we were talking about how our friends are getting engaged, married, or even build a family, so I guess the thought of having children in five years time was relevant.

I began to think that it might be pretty annoying, considering that five years is not that long (now that I've realized that time flies exceptionally fast), and also considering the fact that I don't really like children that much, except for my own little brother and this cute Korean girl called Yebin on YouTube. I can actually choose not to have children in five years, but my friend said that it'd be better to have at least one considering the mother's health (I am currently too lazy to browse whether this statement is true) as well as the pressure from the environment, especially parents/in-laws (haha).

A few days days ago, I still couldn't grasp any sense of happiness that life might offer by having children, but I somehow happened to accidentally watched this Korean variety show called "The Return of Superman" as I was surfing on the cable TV channels. The show's concept was pretty interesting, in which fathers are left with their children for 48 hours and get filmed. It's actually pretty popular (most of the people in the office where I was doing my intern recently regularly watch the show, but I never had any interest to join back then) and it kind of succeed in changing my perspective toward having children.

I watched this episode where all the four families in the show got together celebrating the show's first anniversary. In this episode, the parents were shown the footage of some of their children's biggest moments, such as when they had their first word, their first step, their first walk. I could see joy and happiness in their parents' eyes, and I couldn't help but to think about how the look on my parents' face were when they first saw me and my siblings walk, talk, and did many "first" things. I suddenly felt glad that we once could bring them so much happiness back then.

I kind of feel that the children actually gave their parents a new kind of excitement in life of seeing them grow up. It seems like the parents reached a surprisingly interesting new stage of life, that they never saw coming. One of the parents said that although he went through so many hardships in raising the children, seeing them able to do things for themselves is actually a greater joy that would make everything else paid off. It came to my utter amazement how parents' love for their children could be so immense, and that parents can be so happy and grateful to have children.

This show made me realize that wanting to have children and enjoying it is maybe just another phase of life that hopefully will come to me someday, and it might not be as terrifying and as annoying as I thought it would be. Maybe it's the same as how I thought I would never wear any make-ups when I was in junior high, and how I thought I would never want to even think about having any boyfriend when I was in high school. I just hadn't wanted it yet.

Now that I think about it, having children might even be one of the best experience in life. So, I am sending my friends who have already had (or expecting) children lots of love and good-lucks, I hope they can make you happy! And as a kind reminder for myself, let's make our parents as happy as they were when they had us when we were little.

Wassalamualaikum wr. wb.

PS: I had a fight with my mom a few days ago and these thoughts really helped me in making up with her. It just feel terrible to know how the daughter that she had taken care of with lots of love in the past grew up to be a person who often hurt her. I'm sorry mom and dad for all the mistakes I made :(