On Adulting

Assalamu'alaikum wr. wb.

I'm definitely adulting. Or should I say I'm definitely getting old but I just wouldn't say it out loud?

I've got a husband and a baby to take care of. I have almost zero spare time each day because I need to work, take care of the house, feed the baby, cook meals, and do so many other things on a daily basis. I spend less than an hour everyday on Instagram. I have no idea who's trending on YouTube.  I actually forgot my Spotify password because I probably only listen to adult music about once a week (the rest are baby nurseries). I (and my husband) are keeping track of our daily expenses and our overall finances. 

At this point of time, I actually feel much more insecure than I was when I was young(er). To be honest, I have always been a pretty insecure person myself (I guess deep down, almost everybody is?) but throughout the years I managed to keep it lowkey because I felt like "I still got time". However, I now realize that I already reached this point of adulthood, where I feel like 'this should be the time'. And of course, I kind of feel like so many people are reaping the good things they sow. Seeing so many people are at the peak point of their lives (where I think maybe I'm not... yet?) made me question so many decisions I made in the past. I do want to clarify, though, that I mostly did not regret the decisions I made. I mean, having a husband, a cute little baby, and an actual job that pays the bill sounds amazing, right? And it does. But, I felt like I could've done much more. 

Alas, there's no point in dwelling too much on the past. We should be focusing on what's to come. So, here goes a list. I want to read more books. Listen to more podcasts. Study more about Islam. Spend more quality time with my husband and baby. Look deep into my baby's eyes more frequently. Spend less time sleeping. Cook more dishes. Try new things and not be worried too much about them. Talk more to my neighbors. Give more to those in needs. Share more knowledge with others. Be more open and confident. And start improving myself as early as possible.

May this be a reminder for me whenever I feel like adulting is not so fun.

Wassalamu'alaikum wr. wb.